Couples Therapy
You Keep Having the Same Fight. It’s Usually About Something Deeper.
It starts with the dishes. A text. The in-laws. Money. Sex. Who’s doing more.
And somehow you end up in the same place.
One of you pushes harder to be heard while the other becomes defensive, shuts down, or walks away. The more one reaches, the more the other retreats. Eventually you’re both left feeling misunderstood and alone.
You love each other deeply and have no idea how to stop hurting each other.
The Cycle Is the Problem
My couples work is grounded in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, an attachment-based approach that gets underneath the argument. I’m less interested in deciding who’s right than in helping you understand what happens between you.
What happens inside you when your partner turns away? What does criticism touch in you? What’s underneath the anger? What makes withdrawal feel safer than talking?
I’ll slow those moments down with you so you can begin hearing what’s underneath the defensiveness, pursuit, or silence. Over time, “You never care about me” becomes “I’m scared I don’t matter to you.” “Just leave me alone” begins to reveal “I’m afraid I’ll make this worse.”
That’s where a different kind of conversation becomes possible.
The Hurt Goes Even Deeper
Maybe affection and sex have changed. You’ve become excellent co-parents or household managers but aren’t sure where your relationship went.
Or something happened that shook the foundation completely.
Infidelity, secrecy, betrayal, or broken trust can leave one partner wondering what’s real and the other wondering whether anything they do will ever be enough to repair the damage.
This isn’t always something you can solve by communicating “better.”
You Can Learn to Find Each Other Again
You’ll still fight sometimes. Repair means staying connected when things get difficult, reaching for each other differently, repairing hurts, and knowing you’re still on the same team.
For couples healing from betrayal, that may also mean creating enough emotional safety to grieve what happened and slowly rebuild trust.
The relationship you want may still be underneath the cycle you’ve gotten caught in.
Reach out for a free couples consultation, and let’s talk about what’s happening between you.
Let’s meet for a free consultation, and we’ll start from where you are.
- Call(707) 953-0790
- Emailesmith@woodsongtherapy.net
- Office659 Cherry Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404